These days, I really miss that black-and-white simplicity that comes with naiveté. I actually found myself in the midst of a revealing discussion with friends uttering the words, “Racism is not necessarily ‘bad’.” Yes. Those words exactly. I could try to explain it now, but…yeah, I probably should.
What I meant to say was that racism is the product of stereotyping, which is in itself part of being human and not necessarily “bad”. Racism is a big bad complicated thing, though. And it’s true that not everyone who happens to hold a stereotype relating to culture or race is a bad person, but the stereotype should be acknowledged and addressed.
It would have been better if I had just said, “Racism is bad.” Right?
“No good deed goes unpunished,” I thought as I deftly chopsticked my third piece of salmon sushi from the platter. Thirty years old, two months from unemployment, one year from marriage, six months into full-fledged homeownership. Staring into the great wide open.
Swish in the soy sauce. Nose scrunched at the lack of wasabi.
My goal in life was to graduate from college. No one I’d grown up with had done it. So, I did. I took the scenic route. At 23, after spending four years fighting my roots in community college, I graduated from UCLA with a bachelor’s of art in music history. I had accomplished my goal, met my future fiancé, and my options were (seemingly) wide open. No job, though.
I artfully stumbled into a job with a music consultant, which gave way to my current job at a small talent management company. And I have not-so-artfully begun the stumbling exit.
So, now I’m going to write everyday about an interesting experience or observation simply because I have to. I’m lost without it (writing), and I think this daily meditation will hone my craft, uncover some truths, and remind me of me. Who I was before I was just this job.